Every day we do a little negotiating. Sometimes we negotiate with ourselves in regards to what we should eat for lunch versus the guilt that comes with the extra calories. We even self-negotiate how we spend our time and negotiate with others on how to move forward in a project or how to prioritize each segment. When you think about it, there’s a lot of stress-free (or semi stress-free) negotiating every day.
Then why is it that when it comes to negotiating for a car, a raise, a job or a contract the stress skyrockets? This is due to perspective. We personally raise the stakes in our mind and yes, while there’s a lot more at stake when negotiating for a job versus committing to dessert after lunch, the process doesn’t really differ.
We weigh the options, think about how best to create a win-win and slowly and thoughtfully enter into a decision. Though it is a bit of a stretch in comparison, the message is that we need to get comfortable with negotiating in order to reduce the stress.
When it comes to negotiation, there are really five keys of negotiation success that can help you create a win-win. But negotiation does require practice.
So here’s a huge healthy career tip that will not only reduce the stress of negotiating but also increase your chance of success: practice. Make a conscious effort each day to enter into a negotiation of some kind, from choosing the music you listen to in the carpool to how and who runs the next office meeting. Shoot for a win-win, but always be prepared to give and take until a happy and healthy compromise is met. I look forward to hearing about your negotiation experiments and results.
Kim Monaghan, PCC, RYT, CPBS is the owner of KBM Coaching & Consulting LLC, a boutique Human Resources Consulting and Career Coaching Firm serving a national clientele.