Has this happened to you? You’re going about life when SHAZAAM, out of the blue, someone fascinates you, catches your eye.
What did they do to mesmerize you? They somehow radiate palpable, indescribable magnificence as your mind dissolves in awe and one-ness. You love them yet may not have even met them. The experience leaves a deep and lasting impression that remains firmly intact to this day.
Pets, babies, people, ascended masters, beauty, nature, a movie star, or product line may inspire this reaction. Whatever the stimuli, you’re the one who creates the reaction within yourself and it is magnificent. When this divine awe and empathy is sparked within you, your senses are alive and you too become radiant. When people speak at our “It’s All about You ReTreat” each March in Palos Verdes, we remember those best who share not only words but their energy and light.
Yoda in Star Wars put it this way: “Luminous beings are we… Life creates it; makes it grow. Its energy surrounds and binds us…”
Hindus call it “shaktipat.” Religions call it “ecstatic rapture.” Poets call it “love.” I like the word “charisma.” Scientists say “awe-inspiring engagement is a neurological state that fires and activates mirror neurons within.”
“Why does this happen,” scientists ask? Do mirror neurons cause or precede heightened perception? Do they bring guidance? Do they happen to help you understand what action to take? And exactly what invisible enchanted energy draws and captures your attention and heart? Your guess is as good as any… AND one thing researchers and you and me know for sure is that there is an undeniable glow that attracts. And, I add, there is an undeniable glow you can learn to radiate too so that, when YOU walk in a room, you rivet positive attention.
How do others perceive you?
Are others enraptured and enthralled by your ideas, words, songs, and stories? Do they want to be close to you? If so, that is terrific. If not, enjoy these nine viable ways to be and radiate light that helps others embrace your messages and love.
Nine Ways to Be the Light
To fully express, present, persuade and communicate, and be in business or run a household, you need to fascinate. So how do you magnetically draw the eye and hold it hard for a spell? Here are nine ways to develop your charisma:
1. Hold a clear intention. What do you want to put out or convey? How do you want others to think or feel about you? Your intention, and what you say to yourself and aloud, energizes or exhausts others and yourself; and this stems from your intention.
2. Love who you’re talking to (remember, it’s not about you). You remember those who make you feel special. Care about others. Show it so they know it. What do they need and want? Joy, love, relaxation? If you’re a parent, helper, or teacher, will you help them relax, make money, be healthier, ace an exam, excel in sports, overcome limits? If you’re a speaker, what do want as their take-away?
3. S.M.I.L.E. John Warhank says, “S.M.I.L.E. stands for ‘Start My Internal Love Engine.’” A smile is magic and draws us in. It also keeps you happy and healthy… literally.
4. Make direct eye contact. Then, linger longer.
5. Get others involved. Luscious words like “think” and “imagine” engage the inner mind. Play to all senses and give people time to absorb an idea before going on to another point. You might ask, “Are you with me?” before you proceed. If you’re giving a talk or teaching something, begin with an attention grabber. Take your time and come up with a good one. In the words of Ben Franklin, “Tell me and I forget; teach me and I may remember; involve me and I learn.”
6. Use a prop. An item or graphic depiction makes a message stick…You yourself are a prop and how you dress and look often thrills or repels.
7. Tell relevant stories. We love to hear stories and the storyteller enthralls us with graphic descriptions. In choosing what tale you tell, ask yourself, “Does this story relate to my intention? Does it build expectation, rapport, and agreement? Why is it important? What message does it impart that enhances my message and their perception of me?”
8. Have fire in the belly. You spark interest with your energy. So stand tall with full-blown enthusiastic energy. Charm School Coaches teach you to emit energy and warmth to spark interest. Walk into a room filled with glee and awe. Be enthusiastic, vibrant, and vivacious even in silence.
9. Call to action. Now that people know you and how you can benefit them, let them know how to get in touch with YOU. A business card (with your photo) is easiest. Sending kind energy influences and evokes affection and helps others to revitalize and be their best, here and now with your grace. You let them know that you have been touched by them and “here is how to get in touch with me.”
Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD is the President of the International Hypnosis Federation and the author of 23 books including “WIN: Coaching Guide For Yourself and Others” and “Thrive: Medical Hypnosis For Yourself and Others” she invites you to join her Facebook page “free hypnosis- IHF.”